Reading this week, this quote from a TV show kept popping into my head. " I confuse sex with love". The context was humorous, but there is some truth in that for me in regards to affection. I feel like sex is the greatest form of affection my husband can show me.
Amos is actually really good about holding my hand and hugs and smooches and all that stuff, but my big prayer this week has been that are children would be blessed by the affection they see us showing each other. I pray that my children would be "huggers"and that they would always feel secure in the relationship their parents have because of our affection for one another.
Before we got married when we were trying so hard not to have sex, I would hug Amos and he would push my hips away from his body. He finally explained to me that this form of affection was going to lead more to stumbling him in the way of our last chapter (sexuality). I think of that in fondness now remembering how affection can and sometimes even should sometimes lead to sexual intimacy.
Affection is a big deal for me because I used to really struggle with what I now like to refer to as "daddy love me issues". I craved affection and now as a married women it is nice to be shown affection in an appropriate God given way that a husband should show his wife affection. I am blessed that God gave me a husband who shows his affection physically.
Lord please let my husband and I never withhold affection from one another. Help us to set an example of love and affection for our children. Let us always remember how important affection is to our relationship. Thank you for the affectionate husband I have. Help me to remember when I struggle with other areas regarding my husband that he really does bless me in this area. Help me to know when my husband needs affection and to be selfless enough to give it even when I don't feel like it. Help all of our husbands to know that we not only desire affection but sometimes we need affection. Give them the wisdom and knowledge to recognize these things and show affection accordingly. Thank you Lord for our husbands. Let our prayers for them be out of love and prayed with a right heart.
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Nickole you reminded me of the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris when you described how Amos push your hips away when you will kiss him during your dating days. There are different forms of giving affection and it's so important to pay attention of how you give it and with what intentions especially when one is dating or among friends.
Working in the hospital has been a blessing to witness various forms of affection from couples who have been married over 60yrs...besides being so cute, I long and pray to God that Travis & I come close to expressing to each other affection that demonstrate and give witness of the LOVE we have for each other.
I'm "latina" like my niece (Johanna, 3yrs old going on 4) says proudly, so affection comes easy to me...hugging, squeezing, kissing I enjoy giving. Yet I've learned to be careful of how I give affection to family/friends/ and people I first meet...I will elaborate more on that some other time because that is a another topic within this topic. Having said that, I feel very blessed like Nickole in this area because Travis from the very first time, though he was timid at first, showed me affection; I recall the first time we went out to eat with his dad (Roger) and step-mom (Net), I was very pleased of how he just grabbed my hand and kissed it when his dad was talking to us and just held my arm wrapped around his...ofcourse it only lasted 3 minutes before I felt it numb, but I enjoyed every second of it.
Lord I want to thank you for your love, for saving Travis for me and his unfailing daily affection towards me. Father my prayer is that you keep me steadfast to provide the affection Travis needs at all times, be it a hug, kiss, a note, packing a dark piece of chocolate with his lunch... Lord Jesus you know our hearts, may we come to you in prayer for ALL areas in our lives, you've created us and you know what we need and what our husbands need, give us discernment to be the best partner to our spouses.
My husband grew up in a family that demonstrated “tough love” towards each other. And myself, quite the opposite, grew up in a family that showed “mushy love”. So, we came from opposite sides of the spectrum, but even so, it is amazing how God has brought us to a point where we complement each other very nicely. For a long time we really struggled with this topic of affection. If Tony wasn’t showing me affection, I thought he didn’t love me…but I realize now that those were just my own insecurities. Everyone is different and raised differently, so I pray that God may continue to bring us into balance.
Lord, may you help us to be aware of each other’s needs for affection. Show us how to demonstrate our love for each other in ways in which we are responsive. Continuously re-store and re-new our affection for each other and let it always be fresh. Let us never forget the importance of showing eachother affection and let us make it a priority. Bring us into balance as far as how much affection we each need and the timing in which we are feeling affectionate.
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