“Lord change my heart. Save me by your grace.” This seems to be my married life mantra these days. When I feel tired or stressed or just defeated my heart tends to not be in the everyday life tasks needing to be completed. I have fortunately come to the place where I am still capable of completely these tasks which was not always the case. But I confess in this season of raising small children sometimes I find I am just going through the motions. It is in these moments I remember God’s grace and ask Him to change my heart. I desire to constantly have a heart overflowing with love, grace and mercy for others. For some reason this is most difficult with my husband and children.
This experience has been difficult yet fulfilling. I haven’t noticed any change in my husband, though he is already serving the Lord, so I don’t know what I’m looking for if anything. I am glad to be at the halfway mark. I have sensed deep spiritual warfare these last 20 days. I know God is really using us when Satan makes such an effort to attack. I’m not one to call the desire of gratifying our flesh spiritual warfare, though there has been A LOT of selfishness and flesh gratifying on my part too.
Going through this pregnant has been particularly interesting because I generally think I should be getting some kind of metal everyday for what I have to accomplish in this state. This book has shown me not only how selfish I can be but how it really doesn’t take much effort on my part to add some things to my daily routine to make my husband feel honored, respected and loved.
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half way! that's it! lol just kidding! I read everyday, but have to admit, it's not always the "time" with the Lord I desire. Somedays it seems like just knowledge I'm taking in. Usually I need to really stop and consider who I'm coming before, who is teaching me. Anyhow, this morning i got up with james at 5am bcuz I missed him, and just to bless him. We had time to talk and pray together. He has been sick and working 12 hr days, I didn't see him yesterday at all but for 15 min! I then took time to sit for an hour with my Lord and continue in my reading through Exodus. This morning chptr 20 and the commandments. I think what got me the most was idol worship, and how the Lord says it will affect outwards to the 4th generations! Pray for me with my kids, it's been hard lately, I feel I have been overly short with them and not very loving. Thanks girls!
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