Love Dare Day 36

I am committing to read my Bible every day. I do stay pretty faithful to this already. It is so important. Get in the Word!!

We will be heading out of town tomorrow and will not have cell service so I will have to finish my journaling on paper.

Finish strong ladies.

It has been a pleasure to share in my strengths and weaknesses with you. You will all remain in my prayer these next few days!!!!

Love Dare Day 35

Wise counsel has been a huge part of my life since I started serving the Lord with my whole heart. Because I had such poor counsel for so long I am very careful who I seek counsel from and I’m always checking what people say against the Word of God. This is so crucial in our faith and in our marriage.
We have couples we love and respect in the Lord whom we seek counsel from when we are looking for counsel. We also have great couples who love Christ and hold us accountable to who we are supposed to be in Christ and individuals and as husbands and wives. It is difficult at times to be transparent with people, but it is so necessary if we are to have true accountability amongst other believers.
Lord please help us to surround ourselves with wise counsel. Give us the strength to guard our marriages from negative influences. Thank you Father for giving us Your Word with all its wisdom and knowledge. Let us always seek first after you and your counsel and then from the wise ones around us. Give us discernment and wisdom Lord. Amen.

Love Dare Day 34

This morning my husband came home after being gone for 3 days. We had a great 15 minutes or so and then he made a couple of comments that really got under my skin. I quickly went into a very crabby mood. When I was getting ready in the bathroom (in just my bra and undies) Amos came in and was rubbing my belly and being very affectionate and sweet. I pushed his hands off. I’m so disappointed in myself all over again as I share this with you. My husband responded with love. He very sweetly said a couple calming things and then said we were going to pray. As we stood there praying ( I didn’t shake my mood as quickly as I wish I could tell you I did) I thought to myself “thank you Jesus for a man who chooses to serve you”. We ate breakfast and I thanked my husband for exampling such great Christian character. As I’m sure you well know, it is often very difficult to do or say something nice when someone is being ugly to you. But my husband chose to love me and seek God in the midst of my ugliness. I was humbled.
Thank you Jesus for every little action our husbands do to show their good Christian character. For those of our husbands who are not Christians Lord I pray we would recognize good choices they are making too. Let us be encouragers of our husbands. Let us be the kind of helpers you use to gently guide our men into becoming the men you desire them to be. Let us never discourage our husbands in their faith. May we always rejoice in their efforts and triumphs to be men of God!!!

Love Dare Day 33

Men and women really are so different it’s almost difficult to comprehend sometimes how we manage to live together at all. God had purpose and design in our differences and we don’t appreciate what those purposes are often enough. We live in a culture that had emasculated men to a point they don’t even feel like leading is acceptable. It is time we celebrate the differences between men and women, not just in theory, but in real life in our marriages.

I really do desire the opinion of my husband, though I don't always act like it. Many of us have unfortunately shot our husbands opinions down so many times they are hesitant to even share their thoughts with us. This is an important area needing resolution in marriages today, especially our own.
Since my husband is STILL at work (day 3) I’m going to send him an email this morning telling him how much I appreciate his opinion. He needs to know I appreciate him as a counterpart and don’t expect him to be just like me.

Love Dare Day 32

I can’t believe my husband is working on the sex day of the love dare. This is such a bummer.
Intimacy in a marriage is so important. It breaks my heart when I hear about women who withhold sex from their husbands not understanding how destructive the consequences can be. What this means that I think women don’t understand sometimes is “have sex with your husband when he wants you to”. Sometimes you will have sex when you don’t want to. I know this is a shocking concept, but we are told our bodies belong to our husbands. Yes we are also told theirs belongs to us, but like all other biblical concepts we are to focus on how to serve.
I happen to be a person who feels most love when there is physical affection involved. I can honestly say that when my husband and I have gone a few day s without being intimate it really affects me negatively. This may not be the way you are in your marriage, but it might give you insight to the way your husband feels. Remember ladies men a generally very visual and they often have sexual desires women do not. It is your responsibility to meet those needs for your husband, in the biblical confines of keeping your marriage bed pure of course.
The other amazing thing to me about God, marriage and sex is He truly does bless you in this area when you seek Him on it. You can pray about sex, your insecurities and even your drive or lack of if it doesn’t correlate with your husbands. God desires this part of your marriage to be lovely too!!!

So go get some sex from your husband’s today!!! Focus on what a blessing it is to meet the needs of your spouse!!!

Love Dare Day 31

Leaving and cleaving...this is more difficult for women, I think. Amos and I have been pretty good about this in our marriage. We both lived on our own for sometime before we got married. We had a more difficult time overcoming how set in our ways we'd become living on our own. I do have a mom who can be a little invasive at times. My husband must always come first. I make sure never to go to my mom with anything negative to say about my husband. I know many women who still struggle with making their mothers or families their priority. It is never good for the marriage.

I pray we will all cleave to our husbands. May God reveal to us any "leaving" issues that might be contributing to a lack of oneness in our marriages.

Love Dare Day 30

I really thought and prayed about this. Right now in our marriage we have no points of division. There have been major life aspects we have disagreed on over the few years we have been married, but God has always brought us to the same page, which he easily does when you are both focused on His will for your life. We are now on the same page about finances. (we should have all our debt paid off, with the exception of our home) by the beginning of next year. We are on the same page about the raising and education of our children. Praise God He really does keep us on the same page or get us on the same page quickly.

I can think of one time in our marriage where we had a SERIOUS difference of opinion. I couldn't even speak to my husband I was so sad. I remained steadfast in prayer and my husband sought council. God aligned our hearts for His will. He always does!! It is His desire that we are of one accord, the two become one and all that jazz. :)

Love Dare Day 29

God has done so much for me in my life. This alone should be motivation enough to love my husband. I always thought when I met my husband he would adore me. He would think I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and he would not be able to picture his life without me. This was really not the case. My husband loved my relationship with Jesus and at first this was a real blow to my ego. He didn’t marry “the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen”. I don’t even think he married someone he “absolutely adored”. My husband knew God had a plan for us and he decided to follow what he believed was the Lord’s will for his life. This is not to say I don’t believe my husband loves me or didn’t when we were married, but it is not the love I imagined I would start my married life with. We were not the people we would have picked for ourselves, but God knew better.
The few pages written today about love’s motivation really sent me into a reality check. We love because of Christ’s love for us. We can’t let our husband’s reactions, behavior, or attitude be our motivation especially if we are trying to be the godly wives God has called us to be.
Often times I find myself in this place in my marriage where I feel like there is no benefit or reward for all I do. The lack of appreciation for the accomplishments you manage when you have small children is astounding.
Christ will be my motivation. I commit to let Christ be the reason I love my husband. I will no longer look to my husband for motivation for me to love him, but I will look to Jesus, the One who healed my heart, to be not only my encourager but my reason for loving my spouse.

Love Dare Day 28

I don’t know that a “need” for my husband actually got met yesterday. He did need to go test drive a motor home we are taking on vacation and I watched our friend’s 8 month old son and our 2 boys while they went out. I talked to my husband about life being difficult and how I really wanted to do a better job at looking to meet his needs and help him get things done he wants to get done. He was really grateful and told me he would really like to do the same for me. It was a very encouraging conversation. Then before bed when we prayed, we prayed God would help us be more selfless. When he thanked God for me and all I do I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

Love Dare Day 27

Unrealistic expectations sure do breed disappointment. Today’s reading was a lovely reminder of how we are to encourage and not to “expect”. As you probably know by now my husband is a firefighter. This gives him a very unique schedule. Because when he goes to work he goes for at least 24 hours at a time often times when he comes home I have very unrealistic expectations for you. I expect him to help me with the kids and spend all his time with us as a family. That is the great benefit of him having the schedule he does right? Well shame on me for being so selfish. I need to remember my husband has things around the house he wants to get done and he need to relax in whatever form is relaxing to him and not to me. I am fortunate enough to have a husband who is a very hard worker and who likes to stay busy and on task. I need to encourage him with what a great job he is doing keeping up with the yard and the pool and all the things around the house needing fixing or updating. I need to encourage him for spending time with us as a family. We are so blessed to have so much time together and I often ruin everything with my bad attitude from disappointment because of unrealistic expectations. My husband really is a dream and I don’t know how I would manage anything without him.

Love Dare Day 26

I woke up today in a good amount of pain. I suppose my back has decided it doesn’t want to carry the weight of me around anymore. You’d think with all my pregnancies in the last few years, my back would get used to the flux. I laid in bed reading the word’s “today is going to be hard” and I thought, boy don’t I know it. So as God has me already in a very humble state today. (I find I’m not able to pick up my kids without wanting to cry from the pain of it) I am hoping He will choose to reveal areas to me I really need to seek forgiveness for. I am also praying specifically He would show me areas my husband is looking for me to seek forgiveness from him in. I have high hopes for today to be a great day of sanctification for me. Perhaps God has be feeling so bad (I’m fighting a cold and bad headache) so that I will remain in a humble state and REALLY seek Him out today.
Pray for me as I will be praying for you.

Love Dare Day 25

Forgiveness…
We forgive not because the guilty party deserves it, but because Jesus requires it of us. How can we, who have been forgiven so much hold grudges against our spouse. I do not harbor any long term unforgiveness for my husband, but I do often struggle with forgiving unkind words or actions as quickly as I should.
I remember my mother in law was talking to me about my future husband once and we were talking about some things in his past. She told me I would have to learn to forgive him for those things. I remember feeling a bit shocked. How could events or actions on the part of my husband that happened before he knew me warrant my forgiveness? If you haven’t always been a Christian, which neither my husband nor I have, then you know sometimes there are consequences for sin that far outlast the actions. I do sometimes find myself remembering past actions I thought I had forgiven and need to be given up to God again.
Forgiveness can be a continual process where we have to repeatedly make effort not to harbor ill feelings. I find it really helps to pray in moments of bitterness or unforgiveness. God gives us the capacity to forgive. He requires it of us. Don’t let unforgiveness stunt your growth with God. Forgive as He forgave you BECAUSE He forgave you!!!

Love Dare Days 23 & 24

Addictions and Lust....

These are areas in my life I’ve already assessed. When I sat down to evaluate again I really couldn’t think of anything to fall into either of these categories. I have already been warned about harmful influences and unhealthy relationships. The shame and parasites aspects were a little newer ideas to me, neither I found in my life.
I did take a moment or two to laugh at the definition of parasite the book gave. Anything that leaches to you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage; our kids came to mind. It made me laugh at the energy they seem to take from us at times. As I type now I guess I’m realizing it’s important to make sure even the blessings in our lives don’t have negative effects on our marriage.
I really enjoyed the part to women reminding us not too carried away by magazines, movies, or novels setting unrealistic expectations for our husbands. I would also like to add music to the list of possible contributing factors. The unrealistic, romantic notion of love saturating our media today wants us to believe we are not getting enough romance. I have been caught up in lusting over romance before. I have thought “I already know how my story ends. My romance is over and now I’m in the part of the movie they don’t really show, the real life stuff”. I know what my wedding was like. I know I ended up with the hero not the villain (by the grace of God). It’s not that I’ve ever been disappointed in my life, but its knowing the “how I came to know my husband and who he is part” that I know I’m never going to get back. For me movies and music were large contributing factors because they focused so much on romance and broken hearts. What is there to look forward to after such things, not that I’d go back and relive a broken heart for anything in the world.
I share these issues in case you are still in this place. God has blessed us with husbands. They are to be cherished and appreciated. We are not to set unrealistic expectations on them nor are we to always desire more fulfilling relationships. Our relationship with the Lord should fulfill us. When it is not, we really need to check our lives, hearts and minds and see where we are lacking in our relationship with Him.

Love Dare Day 22

Love is an action. I remember when the light bulb went on and the realization of this concept became part of who I was. I understood the kind of woman and wife I was to become and it frightened me. I had previously been carried away with the ideas of romantic love being what lasted a lifetime. Without Jesus I could never be the kind of wife who shows unconditional love to my husband continually. Even the concept of unconditional love has been skewed in our society today.
Last night a few ladies, myself included, got together and watched Fireproof. We had all seen it before, but for me it was different watching it in the middle of doing the Love Dare. I was so encouraged. My husband and I had an ugly fight before we parted ways for the evening . I started out the evening crabby with my husband and his words and crabby with this Love Dare business. By the end of the night I was humbled into how selfish I had STILL been being. Just because I took on this 40 day challenge does not give me the right to think I am doing SO much for my marriage. I am doing what is expected of me in the eyes of our Lord and some days I can barely do the bare minimum.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that today’s reading came at the perfect time for me. I needed to be reminded it is my job to love my husband regardless of his reaction to me. I choose to show love even if I feel my needs are not being met. I choose to show love even when I’m tired, even when I don’t understand and remember God will give me the strength I need to accomplish all this. I do it for the Lord. I do it because I long to be the woman, wife and mom He has called me to be. In the words of dear friend “this is a higher calling.” And it truly is.

May you all live up to the calling God has put upon your life with joy and peace in your heart.

Love Dare Day 21

Since I haven’t been in a formal Bible Study this summer I have really had to focus on reading the Word daily. I started in 1 Corinthians have read through Galatians and will started Ephesians today.
Ephesians 1 is a very encouraging chapter. We are reminded of our adoption into Christ, God’s grace, acceptance and redemption. We are also reminded of our guaranteed inheritance with Christ. These are all aspects of God I would love to have constantly on my heart and mind as I go into the second part of this challenge.
It is so important we take time in the morning to let God fill us up. Being wives and moms can be the most discouraging overlooked job in the world and without remembering God is the One who will meet all our needs and fulfill all our desires we will struggle against His purpose in our lives.
Hang in there ladies. Be in the Word daily. Keep your husband in your daily prayers. Serve the Creator of the Universe with your whole hearts.

Love Dare Day 20 Wahoo!! We are halfway there!!!

“Lord change my heart. Save me by your grace.” This seems to be my married life mantra these days. When I feel tired or stressed or just defeated my heart tends to not be in the everyday life tasks needing to be completed. I have fortunately come to the place where I am still capable of completely these tasks which was not always the case. But I confess in this season of raising small children sometimes I find I am just going through the motions. It is in these moments I remember God’s grace and ask Him to change my heart. I desire to constantly have a heart overflowing with love, grace and mercy for others. For some reason this is most difficult with my husband and children.
This experience has been difficult yet fulfilling. I haven’t noticed any change in my husband, though he is already serving the Lord, so I don’t know what I’m looking for if anything. I am glad to be at the halfway mark. I have sensed deep spiritual warfare these last 20 days. I know God is really using us when Satan makes such an effort to attack. I’m not one to call the desire of gratifying our flesh spiritual warfare, though there has been A LOT of selfishness and flesh gratifying on my part too.
Going through this pregnant has been particularly interesting because I generally think I should be getting some kind of metal everyday for what I have to accomplish in this state. This book has shown me not only how selfish I can be but how it really doesn’t take much effort on my part to add some things to my daily routine to make my husband feel honored, respected and loved.

Love Dare Day 18

My goodness!!! I feel like today, the day of reflection of sorts, is a much needed day off. My salvation and relationship with Jesus are in order and I was overjoyed this morning to see my only task was to go over all the impossible tasks of the last 17 days.

There were some tasks I only performed by the grace of the Holy Spirit. (probably most of them) The ones I felt were the most difficult are the ones I have no desire to perform on a daily basis. These are the ones I know I should be doing but it will be by the grace of God alone they continue to be accomplished. Here is my list of "Lord of Help me's".

Day 1. Choosing to be patient and not say anything negative. I managed this on the challenge day and not a day since.

Day 4. With no agenda ask how your husband is doing. Now although this seems easy I have found it to be difficult. Often when I talk to my husband I need to discuss scheduling issues, house issues or the kids. There were really few time I genuinely asked and cared. How selfish am I?

Day 6. React in a loving way instead of getting irritated. OK, seriously I think this might be impossible with me. Even with the Holy Spirit I am really having trouble surrendering my own will.

Day 8. Jealousy. Ever since I read this day I have been struggling with jealousy. I think I hadn't pinpointed exactly what it was, but I have been continually battling this.

Day 10. Doing something out of the ordinary to serve my spouse is difficult. It seems like there are so many "ordinary" ways I serve him daily I am really struggling with serving him in new and fresh ways.

Day 12. God really has to make me even want to do this one. I should constantly be submitting to my husband and giving in to areas of disagreement, but I DEFINITELY need God's help in this area.

Day 13. I sometimes even need God's help in fighting fair, even though I've been given and know all the tools.

Day 16. Without God's leading and guidance I don't even pray for my hubby as much as I should. I love my husband and desire to remember him constantly in my prayers. God has to remind me though.

Though this could be seen as discouraging, I am encouraged remembering I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength I need. Praise God for His faithfulness!!!

Love Dare Day 18

I will not lie to you. When I read today's challenge this morning I was far from excited. Perhaps you could say I woke up on the selfish side of the bed, but I woke up with absolutely no desire to serve my husband or really even like him for that matter. I must confess that my husband has done nothing wrong. I hate to blame things on hormones, so I will not, though my irrational state of "when am I going to get to do anything I want to do" came on in what appeared to be an overwhelmingly hormonal state. I have cried several times today and have been in short throwing myself a wife/mom pity party. You know the old "must be nice to be a man" bit. YUCK!!!! So I embarrassingly confess my flaws to you hoping that you will at the very least keep me in your prayers. (feel free to hold me accountable to being a respectful, loving, selfless wife and mom too).

However, we did go to Costco today and I did pick up a little something special for dinner. I have not figured out what I am going to do with my kids or if I will just try to talk around them, but I am confidant God will work out a nice intimate dinner with my husband particularly because its not something I'm looking forward too. ;) I know it will be lovely and its my attitude that is horrible. I know someone has been praying for me already today because I do feel better than I did, not that you'd know it from the sound of this post.

Today will be a testimony of "love in action". Our feelings will not always pull you through. As Pastor Mike Reed always says: (and I've always found it to be true) "Do the action of love first and the feeling will follow."

Praise God for His faithfulness even in our filth. May He give me an extra big dose of the Holy Spirit this evening.

Love Dare Day 17

Love promotes intimacy. My husband and I have lots of secrets. hahaha. My husband is the type of man who doesn't gossip or share things that don't concern people, but it still took me a while to feel like my secrets were safe with him. He told me everything about him, good and bad, the second time we spoke. I don't think we have ever struggled in this area, well not yet anyway. We are both secret keepers. I am excited to find time today to talk to my husband about this and see if he feels safe in telling me things he's struggling with etc.

May God give us all the wisdom to speak well of our husbands and not air dirty laundry. I can only imagine how detrimental this could be to a marriage. May we always have a "gentle touch" when dealing with sensitive areas with our husbands.

Love Dare Day 16

Love Intercedes

"Tell your husband something once and then give it to the Lord." This was advice given to me prior to getting married. I have been so grateful for these words over the years. Often I take issues to the Lord prior to even speaking about them to my husband. We are to be a helpmate to our husbands and praying for them is a big part of that, though I confess I am not as consistent in this area as I should be.

Lord please remind me to include my husband in my continual prayers. I pray for him now that he would not worry about things and completely trust You in all areas of our life. Help him to remember that You provide for us through him and help him not to carry the weight of provision on his shoulders. As I know he is seeking to improve his prayer life with you Lord, I pray for him in this area also. Please give him the tools he needs to remember how to pray and how to pray continually. Please help us both to make the time to sit down with you daily and be in your Word. Thank you for all that you do for us Father. Let us always be joyful and aware of all the blessings you give. Let us never be in the "keeping up with the Jones" mindset, but teach us to be truly content with what we have. Help us to teach these principle and values to our children. Guide my husband in his leadership of our family both as a husband and as a father. Help us to chose patience and pour an abundance of wisdom on our lives.

Love Dare Day 15

As my husband is back to work today I am left struggling for something I can do, above the norm, to show him I honor and respect him. As I read today's reading I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband. Though we have our moment and neither of us is perfect I think we both know the other person is the most important honored person in our lives. We really do put each other second to only Jesus.

I don't want my husband to ever seem common to me. He is special and unique and I pray God will always remind me to show him what a blessing he is to me and to our family. This idea of honoring your spouse is really not dominant in our culture today. If it were I know the divorce rate would be lower than it is.

Let us honor our husbands as set apart for greater purpose in our lives. May God give us the intimacy with them to always remember they are special and precious.

Please pray for me that God would show me new ways to honor my husband daily.

Love Dare Day 14

Yesterday's dare was to purposely neglect something I normally do to spend time with my spouse. I chose to stay off the computer for the day. I didn't blog or check my Facebook. I spent the time I would have been doing those things just chatting with my husband as we got ready for my dad and his family to come visit. It was nice to spend the extra time with him in the morning. I generally take that time to make sure I have blogged for the day and updated the Facebook Love Dare page. It was only an extra 15min or so, but I think he noticed that I wanted to be around him which is so important when he gets home. Then I went to a class with him at church last night. I was so blessed by doing something my husband wanted to do. I had not been able to attend one of the classes yet because of sick or kids. It would have been easy for me to just stay home and let him go by himself, but I didn't. I put him first and truthfully it felt good to do something really important to him.

Love Dare Day 13

My husband and I were given the “fighting fair” rules before we got married and we were pretty good at using them at first. (A very similar list to the one in the book) Though my husband is working today, I am going to make a list for us and a personal list for me (which I plan to emphasize the most) and go over it with him tomorrow. It will be really good for us to hit the “reset” button in this area.
Several months ago however we did challenge ourselves to the verses:
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”Ephesians 4:29 NKFV
I actually like the NIV version a little better for the sake of life application.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 NIV
and

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 NKJV

I am going to incorporate these 2 verses into my personal rules. Though we posted the verses all over the house to memorize over time the desire to apply them in everyday life has dwindled. Today I have a renewed sense of responsibility to these particular scriptures, particularly in regards to my marriage.

Love Dare Day 12

We have our big ultrasound today, the one that can tell you the sex of the baby. I have been so adamant about not wanting to know. We waited to know the sex on our previous to kids. My husband however would like to find out. I HATE that this challenge happens to be today. We will see if this is where I win the battle today.

Love Dare Day 11

Love cherishes. Oh how I long to be cherished. I don't know if I've ever even though of this word toward my husband. I absolutely adore (a word I use often) him, but I could definitely do better in the cherish department. I confess I often feel justified in my desire to feel loved and cherished because I'm wanting my "atta girl's" from my husband. Our desire to feel appreciated for what we do often supersedes our need to cherish our spouse. I REALLY need to work on this.

Amos is back to work this morning, so thinking of something to do to show him I cherish him will be difficult. I see a love letter in my immediate future. He does love when I take the time to send him a sweet email during my busy day.

Looking for "above and beyond" ideas so let me know if you ladies have any spectacular ideas.

Lord, help us to know what we can do today to make our husband's feel cherished. We know we don't always think like them so bring to our minds the perfect need we can meet for our spouse today.

Love Dare Day 10

Several months ago my husband came home from work and said, “You know I love you, right.” They were dreaded words. As it turned out my husband had a puppy in the car. We had discussed and decided now (having 2 kids in diapers) not being the right time to get another pet. A long explanation of how the dog came to be in his truck passes and I asked, “Did you think to call and ask what I thought about this, “ to which my husband sheepishly answered, “Yes, but I knew you’d say No.” The short version is I felt betrayed and though my husband was sorry and said he would take full responsibility for the dog it took me a good while to forgive him. As you may have figured out by now my husband is a firefighter and he is not home to “take full responsibility” for this puppy. (that needed to be potty trained and everything. She now is.) I will come back to the relevance of this story in a minute.
My husband receives loves best with acts of service. Because of this I am constantly doing things for my husband. So upon first reading today’s challenge I thought, “what can I do that I don’t already”. Then it came to me. I’m going to go outside and pick up the dog poop. This is something I refuse to do when my husband is home because I have to do it when he is working if the kids want to be able to play outside. Benny is still in the “what’s that? Let me put it in my mouth and see” phase of his life. It will be strictly out of love for my husband so he doesn’t have to do it and I can’t say in all honestly my attitude will be what it should while I do it. Truthfully I was excited to think of something I wanted to do so little that my husband would appreciate so much.
May you ladies get to something you hate today to show your husbands you love them!

Love Dare Day 9

Well I have to say I did great with greeting my husband this morning. He came home from work at 8ish this morning after having been gone all yesterday. When I heard him coming I ran out in front of poor little Elijah teasing “me first, me first”. ( We really try to make an effort to greet each other first but sometimes it’s hard with little running toddlers. I was already dressed with teeth brushed and ready to go. The kids were fed and dressed and we were ready to head off to church when he was. It was a nice morning. My attitude has quickly spiraled downward however.
Today I am struggling with a positive attitude and jealously. Please pray for me ladies that I would be less selfish and more focused on serving. Pray that God would give me strength to not desire time alone as much as I do. Pray that I would be grateful for the things I do get to do (things at church that provide childcare) and not feel bitter toward my husband that I am a permanent childcare when he needs to get things done or wants to do something. Please really pray that my thoughts would not dwell in this area. It seems yesterday’s challenge is really challenging me today.
Thank you for your prayers. Please let me know how I can specifically be praying for each of you.

Love Dare Day 8

As I read today's chapter I thought, "I don't struggle with jealousy with my husband." Then as I kept reading God reminded me of a couple of things. A few weeks ago I realized that I was getting jealous of my husband for doing yard work. It sounds so funny, but he would be home, I'd have to watch the kids and he would go do his "chores" outside by himself. I would think, "geez, i wish there was ANYTHING I could do by myself, even daily housework." It was a "must be nice" attitude that was making me resent my husband. Thankfully God revealed my resentment quickly and I confessed to my husband and asked him to forgive me, which he did with a little laughter.

The point is sometimes we get ugly in our minds and we feel justified in our jealousy. I've never seen reference to this in a marriage book and am very encouraged to watch for this in my marriage.

I'm going to love burning the negative list about my husband. I better wait until the kids are napping though I don't want to give them any ideas. :)

Love Dare Day 7

Today my husband was not my primary focus. I spent the morning with my dear friend as she had her first round of chemo. It amazes me how often we take our lives, health and especially our spouses, for granted. I read today's dare last night, but haven't had time to sit down and write my list until just now.

My husband is an amazing man. You will often hear me say he is the best man I've ever known. It is an amazing truth. That he is my husband is a testimony to God's grace and love alone. Though there were a very few things on my negative list I easily wrote out 3 times the amount of good qualities down for him. Thankfully early in our marriage I learned not to "hang out in the Depreciation room". God blessed me with the principle of making your thoughts captive to Christ some time ago, and though I still struggle in this area sometimes I rarely dwell on negative thoughts of my husband for very long.

Truthfully it was easier for me to make my list of good qualities of my husband and I completely attribute this to God keeping me reigned in on my thought life toward my dear hubby.

Today in the light remembering all I have to be grateful for, I'm so glad to write down wonderful qualities my husband possesses. The way we think affects the way we act and most often times the battle in our marriage starts right in our own mind.

Lord, I thank you for my husband and the husbands of all these wonderful women. Please help us to focus on the good, always believe the best, and cover all things with love.

Love Dare Day 6

If love is not irritable then I was very unloving to my husband last night. Though I didn't speak ugliness out of my frustration and irritability the fact that I was annoyed was still evident. I knew I was being selfish and apologized to my husband for being so short fused. My favorite part about today's reading was the notion irritability is not excusable. It is so important we prioritize our daily lives. We need to be take time for our relationship with God, the stewardship of our minds and bodies, and we need to remember God asks us to take a day of rest. Several months ago now my husband was especially convicted in the area of the Sabbath. We are very conscious not to take a day of rest. God gave us this example because He knows how we work best. Avoiding unhealthy stress, eating healthy and exercising all need to be priorities in our lives if we want to not only be good stewards of what God has given us, but if we want to be less irritable.

As women we often excuse our behavior with hormones. I have fought this for years. Though there are times when I feel my emotions are all over the place I am not allowed to use this as an excuse for a lack of self control in my life. We often let PMS or pregnancy establish selfishness in our hearts. Self control is more difficult in these times, but we must practice obedience to our Lord with self control and love.

Today my hubby is back at work for 24hours. I will try to react to tough circumstances in my marriage with love, but I doubt there will be much opportunity for that today. I will have to incorporate this into tomorrows challenge and my everyday life.

As for scheduling priorities and wrong motivations I'm going to be praying (and would appreciate if you would too) that God would reveal to me what they are.

Love Dare Day 5

Lucky for me last night on the phone my husband decided to tell me something I do that really bothers him, so I had a great gateway into today's challenge. This morning when my husband came home I made us breakfast and when we sat down to eat I apologized for judging him and asked if there was anything else I did that upset or annoyed him. He said he couldn't think of anything at the moment and I asked him if he would think about it and let me know. The best part of this was that I had the opportunity to express to my husband my desire for him to be pleased with me. I explained that I never wanted to intentionally be doing things that frustrated him. He seemed so encouraged to hear me say it. It is so difficult in marriage to always assume the other person has your best interest in mind.

I am going to try one more time to ask if there is anything I do that makes him particularly uncomfortable. I'll let you know how it goes. How did it go for you?

Love Dare Day 4

Today we were supposed to call our hubby's during the day just to ask how they were doing and to see if there was anything we could do for them. I only left messages for my husband. When he called back he was so sweet. He didn't say anything that I could do for him so tonight I am going to not only make the house sparkle, but I'm also going to clean out both refrigerators something I know he loves to have done all the time that I totally slack on. Hopefully I can think of a couple other special things to do for him tonight before he comes home tomorrow morning.

Hope you ladies had a successful day 4. I'm excited to see what lies ahead tomorrow especially because it will be the first time my husband is actually home in 3 day.

Day 3 FAIL

You may have read my lofty ambitions for this morning of taking something up to Orange County to my husband. Though this happened, the entire excursion was an immense failure. I left right before the boys nap time knowing they would sleep on the way and make the trip a pleasurable one for me. About 20 min into the drive both boys were asleep and all was going according to plan. I had decided to stop when I got up there and get Amos a burrito or a Subway sandwich for him to eat before he went to bed. At night when we talk he is always looking for something to eat right before bed. About 40 min into the drive I realize that my hubby is working an overtime and I don't know what station he is at. I'm determined for this to be a surprise but I call anyway to see if I can discreetly find out where he is working. Well he calls me back and I'm about 15 min from the city he works in. I find out his station but am still talking to him when I get to a place that I have to just pull over because I don't know where I'm going. So I ask if I can call him back (which I never do in the daytime) and he tells me he is going to try to take a nap. I swear I almost started crying. So asks why I want to call him back I feel like I've already "almost" lied so many times in our conversation already because he kept asking where I was and what errands I had to run. He even told me not to use too much gas. ( I almost cried at that too. remember I am pregnant people) So I get off the phone with him and am sitting in a Denny's parking lot when Elijah wakes up crying and doesn't seem able to calm down. He was just uncomfortable and wanted to still be sleeping I think. So I call information to get the number for headquarters to see if I can get an address for the station he is at. As I'm driving down the street I know I'm at the wrong station and that I must have misunderstood which station Amos was at. At this point I have to pee terribly badly and Elijah's crying has turned to screaming. I actually had to get out of the car and shut my screaming child in the car to make the phone calls. I text Amos to just go ahead and take a nap thinking I will just drop off his food for a surprise when he wakes up. I decided to route my GPS to the nearest Subway and then head to the right station. I had to call the headquarters back and the woman asked what exactly I was looking for and I had to tell her who I was and that I was trying to surprise my husband and blablabla. It was relatively embarrassing. So I head off to the Subway. I swear my GPS was routing me in circles around a center that DID NOT have a Subway in it. At this point the kids had calmed down. Well I had taken Elijah out of the car and it took a good 1o min to calm him down, but I digress. So at this point in the middle of being completely lost, all I can think about it how my husband told me not to waste too much gas the phone rings and it's Amos. He asks me a life scheduling questions and asks if everything is OK. "We came to surprise you and I'm lost babe." I whimper pathetically into the phone. "I was just trying to bring you and sandwich and I don't even know where I am". My husband directs me to him and tells me we will go pick something up at Ralphs. I beg him to let me stop at a Subway telling him that I just really wanted to bring him something for tonight before bed. He wins and I meet him at Ralphs. At Ralphs I buy ice cream for all the guys at the station that my husband tried to pay for himself. My poor husband missed out on his nap and came to meet me at Ralphs even though he was nervous that he was going to get a call and have to sprint back to the station (it was right next door). To top this all off it just seemed like a SUPER awkward time to be at the station. Everyone made me feel welcome, but we only stayed about 15-20 minutes, they got a call and we left. Amos did say that he was glad we came, but it just felt like the whole endeavor was a huge FAIL.

The moral however is I gave it everything I had, with screaming kids and all, and even though it was awkward, took up the entire day and ended up being more trouble for my husband than a treat, I do think he knew I was thinking about him. I'm still checking my box for today's mission accomplished.

Hope you ladies had mores success than me. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Love Dare Day 3

Today we are supposed to buy something that makes our husband know we were thinking about them. My husband is not the kind of man who wants for material things. Well, he would like a motorcycle, but there is nothing I can do about that today. The only thing I can think to buy him is a shirt. Today I need your help ladies. What in the world do I buy for my husband?

Lord, I ask you to give me a heartfelt idea, something that would truly make my husband feel special. Help me to think outside the box and remember all thing qualities I know about my husband that might help me in this endeavor.

Love Darre Day 2

My husband left for work this morning and will be gone for 3 days. I imagnine it will be difficult to complete some of these challenges without him being actually present. After reading this morning about kindness I decided to send my hubby a couple pictures of the kids and tell him how much we miss him. He had been home for 4 days so we really do miss his presence first thing in the morning. I'm praying today I can think of other acts of kindness I can do for my husband even though he will not be home. Any suggestions?

Praying all you ladies think of creative acts of kindness to show your husband today.
Can't wait to hear what you did!!

Love Dare Day 1-

Today I am "resolved to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to my spouse at all". Well, to tell you the truth ladies my husband isn't even awake yet (today is his day to sleep in) and I'm nervous about this challenge. Hahaha...my first thought is "well, I'm glad he's sleeping in. That is an hour or 2 less I have to try to do this." I'm already disappointed that I don't do this everyday. I'll let you know how it goes. We have a birthday party at our house today which can make me a little demanding so it will be interesting to see how I honestly evaluate myself at the end of the day. I'm going to put a ring on my left ring finger (something I don't usually wear) so that I can remind myself of this challenge or I'm afraid I'll forget to be patient all together. Check back later to hear how I did!!!

Love Dare

Tomorrow we embark on our 40 day journey called the Love Dare. This comes at a perfect time for me in my marriage because I really feel I have been putting serving my husband on the back burner. I know that I am not making him as important as I need to in my life. It seems that is the midst of making meals, cleaning up constant messes, wiping bums, picking up dog poop and running errands I have let my husbands needs (whatever they may be...haha) last on my list of priorities. I can't even say this is something he has noticed, but I have felt my lack of servanthood towards him.

I'm excited for all of us who have decided to make an effort to do something for our husbands over these next 40 days. I'll confess I don't know exactly what I'm getting into, but I'm so thrilled to make this commitment. Recently a couple my husband and I know and love have decided to get a divorce. After giving all the biblical advice and resources we could offer and sending up constant prayers one of the two of them has decided enough is enough and they don't want to try anymore. This challenge is encouraging for me because I am overjoyed to see so many women who have decided to work at their marriage. We are all in different places in our walks with the Lord and our marriages so my deepest prayer for this is that God would meet each one of us where we are and give us the strength and energy to complete a simple 40 days for the sake of our marriages. May we all take captive our thoughts, be in the word daily and savor the opportunity to act out love to our husbands.