Love Dare Day 15

As my husband is back to work today I am left struggling for something I can do, above the norm, to show him I honor and respect him. As I read today's reading I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband. Though we have our moment and neither of us is perfect I think we both know the other person is the most important honored person in our lives. We really do put each other second to only Jesus.

I don't want my husband to ever seem common to me. He is special and unique and I pray God will always remind me to show him what a blessing he is to me and to our family. This idea of honoring your spouse is really not dominant in our culture today. If it were I know the divorce rate would be lower than it is.

Let us honor our husbands as set apart for greater purpose in our lives. May God give us the intimacy with them to always remember they are special and precious.

Please pray for me that God would show me new ways to honor my husband daily.

Love Dare Day 14

Yesterday's dare was to purposely neglect something I normally do to spend time with my spouse. I chose to stay off the computer for the day. I didn't blog or check my Facebook. I spent the time I would have been doing those things just chatting with my husband as we got ready for my dad and his family to come visit. It was nice to spend the extra time with him in the morning. I generally take that time to make sure I have blogged for the day and updated the Facebook Love Dare page. It was only an extra 15min or so, but I think he noticed that I wanted to be around him which is so important when he gets home. Then I went to a class with him at church last night. I was so blessed by doing something my husband wanted to do. I had not been able to attend one of the classes yet because of sick or kids. It would have been easy for me to just stay home and let him go by himself, but I didn't. I put him first and truthfully it felt good to do something really important to him.

Love Dare Day 13

My husband and I were given the “fighting fair” rules before we got married and we were pretty good at using them at first. (A very similar list to the one in the book) Though my husband is working today, I am going to make a list for us and a personal list for me (which I plan to emphasize the most) and go over it with him tomorrow. It will be really good for us to hit the “reset” button in this area.
Several months ago however we did challenge ourselves to the verses:
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”Ephesians 4:29 NKFV
I actually like the NIV version a little better for the sake of life application.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 NIV
and

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 NKJV

I am going to incorporate these 2 verses into my personal rules. Though we posted the verses all over the house to memorize over time the desire to apply them in everyday life has dwindled. Today I have a renewed sense of responsibility to these particular scriptures, particularly in regards to my marriage.

Love Dare Day 12

We have our big ultrasound today, the one that can tell you the sex of the baby. I have been so adamant about not wanting to know. We waited to know the sex on our previous to kids. My husband however would like to find out. I HATE that this challenge happens to be today. We will see if this is where I win the battle today.

Love Dare Day 11

Love cherishes. Oh how I long to be cherished. I don't know if I've ever even though of this word toward my husband. I absolutely adore (a word I use often) him, but I could definitely do better in the cherish department. I confess I often feel justified in my desire to feel loved and cherished because I'm wanting my "atta girl's" from my husband. Our desire to feel appreciated for what we do often supersedes our need to cherish our spouse. I REALLY need to work on this.

Amos is back to work this morning, so thinking of something to do to show him I cherish him will be difficult. I see a love letter in my immediate future. He does love when I take the time to send him a sweet email during my busy day.

Looking for "above and beyond" ideas so let me know if you ladies have any spectacular ideas.

Lord, help us to know what we can do today to make our husband's feel cherished. We know we don't always think like them so bring to our minds the perfect need we can meet for our spouse today.

Love Dare Day 10

Several months ago my husband came home from work and said, “You know I love you, right.” They were dreaded words. As it turned out my husband had a puppy in the car. We had discussed and decided now (having 2 kids in diapers) not being the right time to get another pet. A long explanation of how the dog came to be in his truck passes and I asked, “Did you think to call and ask what I thought about this, “ to which my husband sheepishly answered, “Yes, but I knew you’d say No.” The short version is I felt betrayed and though my husband was sorry and said he would take full responsibility for the dog it took me a good while to forgive him. As you may have figured out by now my husband is a firefighter and he is not home to “take full responsibility” for this puppy. (that needed to be potty trained and everything. She now is.) I will come back to the relevance of this story in a minute.
My husband receives loves best with acts of service. Because of this I am constantly doing things for my husband. So upon first reading today’s challenge I thought, “what can I do that I don’t already”. Then it came to me. I’m going to go outside and pick up the dog poop. This is something I refuse to do when my husband is home because I have to do it when he is working if the kids want to be able to play outside. Benny is still in the “what’s that? Let me put it in my mouth and see” phase of his life. It will be strictly out of love for my husband so he doesn’t have to do it and I can’t say in all honestly my attitude will be what it should while I do it. Truthfully I was excited to think of something I wanted to do so little that my husband would appreciate so much.
May you ladies get to something you hate today to show your husbands you love them!

Love Dare Day 9

Well I have to say I did great with greeting my husband this morning. He came home from work at 8ish this morning after having been gone all yesterday. When I heard him coming I ran out in front of poor little Elijah teasing “me first, me first”. ( We really try to make an effort to greet each other first but sometimes it’s hard with little running toddlers. I was already dressed with teeth brushed and ready to go. The kids were fed and dressed and we were ready to head off to church when he was. It was a nice morning. My attitude has quickly spiraled downward however.
Today I am struggling with a positive attitude and jealously. Please pray for me ladies that I would be less selfish and more focused on serving. Pray that God would give me strength to not desire time alone as much as I do. Pray that I would be grateful for the things I do get to do (things at church that provide childcare) and not feel bitter toward my husband that I am a permanent childcare when he needs to get things done or wants to do something. Please really pray that my thoughts would not dwell in this area. It seems yesterday’s challenge is really challenging me today.
Thank you for your prayers. Please let me know how I can specifically be praying for each of you.

Love Dare Day 8

As I read today's chapter I thought, "I don't struggle with jealousy with my husband." Then as I kept reading God reminded me of a couple of things. A few weeks ago I realized that I was getting jealous of my husband for doing yard work. It sounds so funny, but he would be home, I'd have to watch the kids and he would go do his "chores" outside by himself. I would think, "geez, i wish there was ANYTHING I could do by myself, even daily housework." It was a "must be nice" attitude that was making me resent my husband. Thankfully God revealed my resentment quickly and I confessed to my husband and asked him to forgive me, which he did with a little laughter.

The point is sometimes we get ugly in our minds and we feel justified in our jealousy. I've never seen reference to this in a marriage book and am very encouraged to watch for this in my marriage.

I'm going to love burning the negative list about my husband. I better wait until the kids are napping though I don't want to give them any ideas. :)

Love Dare Day 7

Today my husband was not my primary focus. I spent the morning with my dear friend as she had her first round of chemo. It amazes me how often we take our lives, health and especially our spouses, for granted. I read today's dare last night, but haven't had time to sit down and write my list until just now.

My husband is an amazing man. You will often hear me say he is the best man I've ever known. It is an amazing truth. That he is my husband is a testimony to God's grace and love alone. Though there were a very few things on my negative list I easily wrote out 3 times the amount of good qualities down for him. Thankfully early in our marriage I learned not to "hang out in the Depreciation room". God blessed me with the principle of making your thoughts captive to Christ some time ago, and though I still struggle in this area sometimes I rarely dwell on negative thoughts of my husband for very long.

Truthfully it was easier for me to make my list of good qualities of my husband and I completely attribute this to God keeping me reigned in on my thought life toward my dear hubby.

Today in the light remembering all I have to be grateful for, I'm so glad to write down wonderful qualities my husband possesses. The way we think affects the way we act and most often times the battle in our marriage starts right in our own mind.

Lord, I thank you for my husband and the husbands of all these wonderful women. Please help us to focus on the good, always believe the best, and cover all things with love.

Love Dare Day 6

If love is not irritable then I was very unloving to my husband last night. Though I didn't speak ugliness out of my frustration and irritability the fact that I was annoyed was still evident. I knew I was being selfish and apologized to my husband for being so short fused. My favorite part about today's reading was the notion irritability is not excusable. It is so important we prioritize our daily lives. We need to be take time for our relationship with God, the stewardship of our minds and bodies, and we need to remember God asks us to take a day of rest. Several months ago now my husband was especially convicted in the area of the Sabbath. We are very conscious not to take a day of rest. God gave us this example because He knows how we work best. Avoiding unhealthy stress, eating healthy and exercising all need to be priorities in our lives if we want to not only be good stewards of what God has given us, but if we want to be less irritable.

As women we often excuse our behavior with hormones. I have fought this for years. Though there are times when I feel my emotions are all over the place I am not allowed to use this as an excuse for a lack of self control in my life. We often let PMS or pregnancy establish selfishness in our hearts. Self control is more difficult in these times, but we must practice obedience to our Lord with self control and love.

Today my hubby is back at work for 24hours. I will try to react to tough circumstances in my marriage with love, but I doubt there will be much opportunity for that today. I will have to incorporate this into tomorrows challenge and my everyday life.

As for scheduling priorities and wrong motivations I'm going to be praying (and would appreciate if you would too) that God would reveal to me what they are.

Love Dare Day 5

Lucky for me last night on the phone my husband decided to tell me something I do that really bothers him, so I had a great gateway into today's challenge. This morning when my husband came home I made us breakfast and when we sat down to eat I apologized for judging him and asked if there was anything else I did that upset or annoyed him. He said he couldn't think of anything at the moment and I asked him if he would think about it and let me know. The best part of this was that I had the opportunity to express to my husband my desire for him to be pleased with me. I explained that I never wanted to intentionally be doing things that frustrated him. He seemed so encouraged to hear me say it. It is so difficult in marriage to always assume the other person has your best interest in mind.

I am going to try one more time to ask if there is anything I do that makes him particularly uncomfortable. I'll let you know how it goes. How did it go for you?

Love Dare Day 4

Today we were supposed to call our hubby's during the day just to ask how they were doing and to see if there was anything we could do for them. I only left messages for my husband. When he called back he was so sweet. He didn't say anything that I could do for him so tonight I am going to not only make the house sparkle, but I'm also going to clean out both refrigerators something I know he loves to have done all the time that I totally slack on. Hopefully I can think of a couple other special things to do for him tonight before he comes home tomorrow morning.

Hope you ladies had a successful day 4. I'm excited to see what lies ahead tomorrow especially because it will be the first time my husband is actually home in 3 day.

Day 3 FAIL

You may have read my lofty ambitions for this morning of taking something up to Orange County to my husband. Though this happened, the entire excursion was an immense failure. I left right before the boys nap time knowing they would sleep on the way and make the trip a pleasurable one for me. About 20 min into the drive both boys were asleep and all was going according to plan. I had decided to stop when I got up there and get Amos a burrito or a Subway sandwich for him to eat before he went to bed. At night when we talk he is always looking for something to eat right before bed. About 40 min into the drive I realize that my hubby is working an overtime and I don't know what station he is at. I'm determined for this to be a surprise but I call anyway to see if I can discreetly find out where he is working. Well he calls me back and I'm about 15 min from the city he works in. I find out his station but am still talking to him when I get to a place that I have to just pull over because I don't know where I'm going. So I ask if I can call him back (which I never do in the daytime) and he tells me he is going to try to take a nap. I swear I almost started crying. So asks why I want to call him back I feel like I've already "almost" lied so many times in our conversation already because he kept asking where I was and what errands I had to run. He even told me not to use too much gas. ( I almost cried at that too. remember I am pregnant people) So I get off the phone with him and am sitting in a Denny's parking lot when Elijah wakes up crying and doesn't seem able to calm down. He was just uncomfortable and wanted to still be sleeping I think. So I call information to get the number for headquarters to see if I can get an address for the station he is at. As I'm driving down the street I know I'm at the wrong station and that I must have misunderstood which station Amos was at. At this point I have to pee terribly badly and Elijah's crying has turned to screaming. I actually had to get out of the car and shut my screaming child in the car to make the phone calls. I text Amos to just go ahead and take a nap thinking I will just drop off his food for a surprise when he wakes up. I decided to route my GPS to the nearest Subway and then head to the right station. I had to call the headquarters back and the woman asked what exactly I was looking for and I had to tell her who I was and that I was trying to surprise my husband and blablabla. It was relatively embarrassing. So I head off to the Subway. I swear my GPS was routing me in circles around a center that DID NOT have a Subway in it. At this point the kids had calmed down. Well I had taken Elijah out of the car and it took a good 1o min to calm him down, but I digress. So at this point in the middle of being completely lost, all I can think about it how my husband told me not to waste too much gas the phone rings and it's Amos. He asks me a life scheduling questions and asks if everything is OK. "We came to surprise you and I'm lost babe." I whimper pathetically into the phone. "I was just trying to bring you and sandwich and I don't even know where I am". My husband directs me to him and tells me we will go pick something up at Ralphs. I beg him to let me stop at a Subway telling him that I just really wanted to bring him something for tonight before bed. He wins and I meet him at Ralphs. At Ralphs I buy ice cream for all the guys at the station that my husband tried to pay for himself. My poor husband missed out on his nap and came to meet me at Ralphs even though he was nervous that he was going to get a call and have to sprint back to the station (it was right next door). To top this all off it just seemed like a SUPER awkward time to be at the station. Everyone made me feel welcome, but we only stayed about 15-20 minutes, they got a call and we left. Amos did say that he was glad we came, but it just felt like the whole endeavor was a huge FAIL.

The moral however is I gave it everything I had, with screaming kids and all, and even though it was awkward, took up the entire day and ended up being more trouble for my husband than a treat, I do think he knew I was thinking about him. I'm still checking my box for today's mission accomplished.

Hope you ladies had mores success than me. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Love Dare Day 3

Today we are supposed to buy something that makes our husband know we were thinking about them. My husband is not the kind of man who wants for material things. Well, he would like a motorcycle, but there is nothing I can do about that today. The only thing I can think to buy him is a shirt. Today I need your help ladies. What in the world do I buy for my husband?

Lord, I ask you to give me a heartfelt idea, something that would truly make my husband feel special. Help me to think outside the box and remember all thing qualities I know about my husband that might help me in this endeavor.

Love Darre Day 2

My husband left for work this morning and will be gone for 3 days. I imagnine it will be difficult to complete some of these challenges without him being actually present. After reading this morning about kindness I decided to send my hubby a couple pictures of the kids and tell him how much we miss him. He had been home for 4 days so we really do miss his presence first thing in the morning. I'm praying today I can think of other acts of kindness I can do for my husband even though he will not be home. Any suggestions?

Praying all you ladies think of creative acts of kindness to show your husband today.
Can't wait to hear what you did!!

Love Dare Day 1-

Today I am "resolved to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to my spouse at all". Well, to tell you the truth ladies my husband isn't even awake yet (today is his day to sleep in) and I'm nervous about this challenge. Hahaha...my first thought is "well, I'm glad he's sleeping in. That is an hour or 2 less I have to try to do this." I'm already disappointed that I don't do this everyday. I'll let you know how it goes. We have a birthday party at our house today which can make me a little demanding so it will be interesting to see how I honestly evaluate myself at the end of the day. I'm going to put a ring on my left ring finger (something I don't usually wear) so that I can remind myself of this challenge or I'm afraid I'll forget to be patient all together. Check back later to hear how I did!!!

Love Dare

Tomorrow we embark on our 40 day journey called the Love Dare. This comes at a perfect time for me in my marriage because I really feel I have been putting serving my husband on the back burner. I know that I am not making him as important as I need to in my life. It seems that is the midst of making meals, cleaning up constant messes, wiping bums, picking up dog poop and running errands I have let my husbands needs (whatever they may be...haha) last on my list of priorities. I can't even say this is something he has noticed, but I have felt my lack of servanthood towards him.

I'm excited for all of us who have decided to make an effort to do something for our husbands over these next 40 days. I'll confess I don't know exactly what I'm getting into, but I'm so thrilled to make this commitment. Recently a couple my husband and I know and love have decided to get a divorce. After giving all the biblical advice and resources we could offer and sending up constant prayers one of the two of them has decided enough is enough and they don't want to try anymore. This challenge is encouraging for me because I am overjoyed to see so many women who have decided to work at their marriage. We are all in different places in our walks with the Lord and our marriages so my deepest prayer for this is that God would meet each one of us where we are and give us the strength and energy to complete a simple 40 days for the sake of our marriages. May we all take captive our thoughts, be in the word daily and savor the opportunity to act out love to our husbands.