I will not lie to you. When I read today's challenge this morning I was far from excited. Perhaps you could say I woke up on the selfish side of the bed, but I woke up with absolutely no desire to serve my husband or really even like him for that matter. I must confess that my husband has done nothing wrong. I hate to blame things on hormones, so I will not, though my irrational state of "when am I going to get to do anything I want to do" came on in what appeared to be an overwhelmingly hormonal state. I have cried several times today and have been in short throwing myself a wife/mom pity party. You know the old "must be nice to be a man" bit. YUCK!!!! So I embarrassingly confess my flaws to you hoping that you will at the very least keep me in your prayers. (feel free to hold me accountable to being a respectful, loving, selfless wife and mom too).
However, we did go to Costco today and I did pick up a little something special for dinner. I have not figured out what I am going to do with my kids or if I will just try to talk around them, but I am confidant God will work out a nice intimate dinner with my husband particularly because its not something I'm looking forward too. ;) I know it will be lovely and its my attitude that is horrible. I know someone has been praying for me already today because I do feel better than I did, not that you'd know it from the sound of this post.
Today will be a testimony of "love in action". Our feelings will not always pull you through. As Pastor Mike Reed always says: (and I've always found it to be true) "Do the action of love first and the feeling will follow."
Praise God for His faithfulness even in our filth. May He give me an extra big dose of the Holy Spirit this evening.
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3 comments:
I'll pray for you....you pray for me.
I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer and didn't get home until 20 min. before hubby did. I rushed around to make 3 separate meals....I let hubby eat first and tried to sit down and eat with him (kids were playing and didn't know/care that the mac and cheese was ready) and he starts in with an "I told you so" story (first, I said, "Yes. You were right.) But then he just kept going on and on...and I was SO TEMPTED to throw his plate in his face that I started to cry! I said, "you're welcome for the tacos!" and stomped off to finish fixing the kids dinner!
I did apologize (after only a few min. not a few days, lol) and it went OK but I didn't learn anything about him.
It's been a pretty rough day here...and the one thing I wanted to go right didn't. augh. Hopefully, tomorrow is better for both of us.
When I read your comment I had to laugh. Life makes this so difficult. Heck, sometimes husbands make it so difficult. Several of my dare days have ended in tears. My husband is gone for a couple days now, so though I always miss him I will feel the little break in "well behavior". Its so amazing to me how difficult it seems to not be negative or react in unloving ways. my goodness. thank goodness today is a day of reflection.
yesterday was bad for me as well. James and I had an argument that began early in the day and by the time I even read the dare I was like "HA! FAT CHANCE THATS HAPPENING!" lol. I am super sick right now and started my period yesterday (praise God!!!). But in the end I had a humble man come upstairs and apologize and we made it right. We ended up having dinner out with the kids. So it was nothing at all like the dare, I'm gonna have to retry that one. And it is also hard to have a dinner alone without kids unless we leave on a date. we already do that once a week and talk. soooo should I do it again anyhow?
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